Wellness 9—– Subtracting

We’ve talked a lot about adding things to your wellness toolbox. But we haven’t yet discussed eliminating things from your life. Such as stresses, bad habits, toxic people, clutter, etc. I think we get so involved with building up areas of our lives that we forget it’s just as important to discard, oust, or phase out things too. 

What is there in your life that you feel is holding you back?

  • Is there a bad habit that you know you should get rid of? Like smoking, eating poorly, not drinking enough water, alcohol, drugs, or avoiding activity?
  • A partner who isn’t on board with your efforts or doesn’t understand what you’re trying to do?
  • Your own fear of failure?

What might be making you anxious? 

  • An issue at work that needs resolution? 
  • An area of clutter at home that you need to tackle?
  • A situation that you know needs to be dealt with but you’ve been avoiding?

Are there people that stress you out every time you encounter them? 

  • The toxic friend who likes to stir up trouble at every turn?
  • The relative who starts a fight at every family gathering?
  • The venomous coworker who puts effort into everything except work?

I’ve been working diligently over the course of the past couple years to eliminate the conditions that cause me stress and anxiety. So far, it’s been very successful and that success is what keeps me motivated me to continue. Dealing with one thing at a time is the key. If you make a list it’s bound to be lengthy and can appear quite daunting or even overwhelming. Stomp that feeling down right now. Just pick the thing that bothers you the most and think about how you’re going to deal with it. Then do it. The relief you’ll feel after you deal with that one thing will give you a wonderful sense of accomplishment. And that, my friend, is what will have you working your way through your list with a whole new vigor. 

The more you accomplish the more you will feel as if weight is falling from your shoulders. That buoyancy will keep you motivated. 

The most difficult thing I did was to ditch a couple of malicious people. Ridding myself of their toxicity and destructive behaviors was like opening a window on a warm, sunny day and letting the fresh air in. What a relief. When you have that bright spot in your day you tend to feel as if you can tackle one more thing and keep the momentum going. It’s an amazing feeling. 

Admittedly some things are harder to deal with or even impossible to eliminate. However, there are always ways to reduce, curtail, or lessen the problem. Stop and think about the issue. Can you minimize it in any way? What will make it better? Let’s take the example of the relative who starts a fight at every family gathering. You know you can’t change their behavior. You know you can’t change others reactions to him/her. What can you change in this situation? You can change your proximity to this person— just walk away and go talk with someone else. You can change your reaction to this person— don’t engage in the behavior. You could even skip the event if you choose. You have options. You also have an imagination so put it to good use. 

Stumped about something? Ask advice from friends, coworkers and relatives. Do some research online. Do whatever fits the situation and can help you make a good decision. A total eradication may be what is needed or perhaps only a partial elimination will make you feel better. Sometimes it’s a regular task that needs to be tackled. Like my refrigerator. Ugh. Always overloaded to the point where it gets unmanageable. I live with a hoarder and this includes food. It’s so trying. When I open the fridge door and things fall out I get so frustrated. Every now and then I just have to purge it. It’s one of my most despised tasks. I recognize that I can’t change the husbands behavior, so I just have to think of ways to keep it under control. How can I make it better? Maybe I could do a mini-purge weekly. Then it wouldn’t turn into the big, overwhelming, hour long task that it becomes. 

I hope these examples give you a starting point for your own “subtraction” process. Keep your goals in sight. Deal with one thing at a time. Don’t let your fear stop you. Look forward to that wonderful sense of accomplishment. Enjoy your results!   👩🏻‍💻